In the spirit of authenticity and deeper connection, I want to share with you a bit about who I am. Because I really truly want to connect with you – and I believe that we can do that by being 100% real and honest with each other.
So I am going to tell you about my health journey so that you can learn more about me and how I got to where I am at today.
My life today:
If I were to describe my life today, I would say that I feel grateful every day. I feel empowered every day. I feel like I am living my best life and can’t wait to see what’s coming next. Now I am human, and I have bad days, bad moments from time to time. But I always bounce back quickly, and its hard for me to not be positive and optimistic – it is my natural state. I remember my mother telling me that when I was a baby I was always smiling and happy – that I was easy. So, I know that at my core, this is who I truly am. And I when I connected with my core, I feel absolutely amazing and on top of the world. But when I’m not, I feel like shit.
My health journey:
Looking back, I think life definitely threw me some major curve balls that caused me to stray from my natural way, from an early age. In my family system I learned very early on that love was conditional, and achievement = validation and love. Over time I became addicted to achievements and external validation – and I never learned how to really love myself. I got stuck in the cycle of “not enough.”
And naturally, when you are stuck in this kind of thinking pattern, physical symptoms begin to manifest. When I was a young child, I developed chronic stomachaches – doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me and told my mother I was a worrier. When I was a teenager, I developed horrible, chronic daily headaches. Again, doctors couldn’t really find anything wrong with me. This lasted until my mid-20’s.
As a young adult woman, I began experiencing a lot of general anxiety, some depression, and just a general unease. Don’t get me wrong, I had amazing experiences and adventures, but there was always this underlying angst that I just couldn’t seem to release.
And then, at age 28, I started getting really sick. It took a year before doctors figured out that the growing fatigue, and random, excruciating shoulder and hip pain was actually cancer. And at 29 years old, upon entering the hospital for severe pneumonia, I was finally diagnosed. Stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
My cancer journey was long, hard, and quite frankly, absolutely awful. I think that honestly could be a whole other post in itself. My mental health suffered greatly. And, like most cancer patients, I didn’t get any kind of holistic support, so I knew nothing about how nutrition, exercise or any other alternative healing methods could help me. I was on so many drugs I could barely function. And nobody told me HOW to recover once my 7 months of god-awful treatment were complete.
So, I essentially had to figure it all out on my own. I honestly could probably buy a house with the amount of money I have spent on healing my mind, body, and soul from that experience. See, nobody tells you that after a major health crisis, the REAL healing begins AFTER treatment is done. That is honestly when the whole journey just begins.
And after I finished treatment, I still experienced many treatment-related symptoms for several years. In fact, I still deal with some issues today. The fatigue comes and goes now, but likely will always be present. My hormones are still figuring themselves out. And my metabolism is on complete vacation.
So as a result of all of this, I have spent the past 10 years exploring and studying everything wellness-related – yoga, nutrition, positive psychology, trauma, exercise, acupuncture, chiropractic care…you name it, I explored it. (Um raw vegan – yep, been there done that!)
However, I can definitely say that this experience really woke me up – it made me take a hard look at myself, my family, and my approach to life. Over time I slowly realized that the way I was living my life was making me sick. I had some pretty serious negative thinking habits that were destructive. And it was significantly impacting my ability to recover my health.
Through this journey I learned who I really am and how I want to live my life – I got in touch with my true self, my natural state – that happy baby that was always smiling.
I have embraced my intuition and learned how to pay close attention to how others make me feel. I have shed myself of negative energies that no longer serve me. And I am totally OK with this, because my mental, spiritual, and emotional health is now my number one priority. I cannot be of service to others if I am not well myself. I am my own tool and need to maintain optimal health to do my best work.
And now, I am grateful for everything that I have been through. I know, I know, it sounds SO cliché. But to me it signifies complete recovery. I honestly never thought I would get to the point where I could say that I am grateful.
In fact, for many years I was so traumatized that I couldn’t even talk about my cancer without bursting into tears. I was even diagnosed with PTSD several years later and had to learn how to heal and let go. I feel like a very powerful woman now, someone who has been through a lot and found a way through it to the other side.
How I feel now:
So, I AM grateful. I AM blessed. I feel like a completely different person now. My health journey made me who I am today, and it has provided me with this vast knowledge in how to help others. I am blessed to say that not only do I have the professional training and certifications, but I also have an amazing personal journey that I believe helps me truly understand the experience of others.
And again, I want others to benefit from my experience. I want other women to have what I wished I had when I was sick – validation, support, and guidance.
My message to you:
No matter what you are going through right now, I want you to know that its ok.
Its ok to feel like shit.
It’s ok to not to be sure.
Its ok to simply not be ok.
Just know that you are loved.
Know that you are worthy.
Know that you WILL get through this.
Know that I see you. I hear you. And I love you.
Peace and Love,