Self-love is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. Not only is teaching self-love a passion of mine, it is also something I have had to work on quite a bit throughout my own life. I know I am not unique, as plenty of women struggle with practicing self-love. It is something that we all strive for – we all love the idea of truly loving themselves. We all want to walk around bursting with confidence. We all want to feel loved.
One of the main reasons I am fascinated with this topic is because while there is SO much out there about how to practice self-love, yet, at the same time, we are bombarded daily with messaging from the media about things that we could improve on – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We see ads constantly. All telling us ways we need to fix our physical appearance, things we need to buy to feel good about ourselves and keep up with everyone around us. We are constantly being measuring by how we look and what we have.
Simply put, advertisers want to make you feel bad about yourself, so you buy their product. Their strategy is to make you feel “not enough” in some way, however big or small, so that you feel like you can’t live without their product – that one thing that will make you feel enough again. Advertisers know how to tap into your emotions and get you to feel.
It is an interesting contrast. On the one hand we see increased articles, quotes, and pictures about how important self-love is and how we need to focus on the internal, and yet at the same time, we are seeing advertising for products that tell us to focus on everything external.
The world is a busy place. Everyone is constantly on the go. We are spending many hours a day on screens and have become disconnected with ourselves. It is easy to then get sucked into the rabbit hole of “not enough” and lose touch with who we really are. We move towards feeling anger and disappointment about what we don’t have rather than celebrating who we are.
I want to help you move from a place of being hypercritical of everything that you do, of struggling to celebrate your achievements and feeling like you are never enough. I want to help you get to a place when you can:
- Reconnect with your internal world
- Embrace your strengths and your flaws
- Learn how to speak your truth
- Embrace being authentic and real with those around you
- Feel content with yourselves in the moment
- Feel confident in your life path and purpose
The thing is, I think self-love is actually a misunderstood concept. So many people are confused about what practicing self-love actually means. And this is understandable, because there is a lot of misinformation out there.
Self-love is much, much more than bubble baths, vacations, and massages. Don’t get me wrong, those practices are wonderful and are definitely helpful. If this is in your routine, and is accessible to you, definitely keep doing them!
While those kinds of practices are really great, self-love actually goes much deeper. It is learning how to be true to yourself, how to not to be afraid to show up authentically in the world, and how to embrace everything about yourself, the good and the bad.
- Self-love is believing in yourself.
- Self-love is being able to say “no.”
- Self-love is practicing healthy boundaries.
- Self-love is establishing rituals around mind, body, and spirit.
- Self-love is letting go of the “shoulds.”
- Self-love is letting go of competition with others around you.
- Self-love is communicating authentically.
- Self-love is being ok with being vulnerable.
- Self-love is commitment to yourself.
The other important thing to remember is that self-love takes discipline. It is a daily practice. It is not an occasional thing we do when we get the time.
Now that we have clarified a bit what self-love actually is, I want to provide you some simple tips that you can use to begin practicing self-love in your own life.
Jamie’s 3 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Love:
1. Limit screen time every day.
This may seem like something you have heard before but hear me out. Earlier I talked about how screen time leaves us feeling disconnected. The more we are on screens, the more susceptible we are to negative messaging, advertising, and feelings of “not enough.” We become addicted to the notifications, the feeling of being “wanted” or “important,” the feeling that we may be missing out on something (FOMO!). We also get sucked into comparing and competing with others.
But this is all external validation designed by engineers to specifically keep you plugged into your device. Knowledge is power – know that all that screen time is not helping you practice self-love. Imagine other things that you could fill that screen time with that would be healthier for you. Begin setting limits on how much screen time (and subsequently, information) you will allow into your world each day.
2. Practice positive affirmations.
I talk about this a lot in my work. Mainly because I believe in the power of retraining your brain. Neuroscience tells us our brains are adaptable and flexible. You truly can change your thought patterns using certain tools. And positive affirmations are a great starting place when we feel like we don’t know where to start. The process of creating and implementing them forces you to take a look at how you are thinking and how you begin to change this. I have a free Self-Love Guide that teaches you how to do this: grab it HERE.
3. Schedule simple rituals.
We create new habits and new ways of being through repetition, discipline, and consistency. Rituals are one of my ways to do this – creating time each day in which you are focused on your internal world. It could be 5 minutes of gratitude journaling in the morning. Or maybe 10 minutes of meditation before bed. Maybe its 5 minutes of positive affirmations. The point is, it is a scheduled activity that is included in your day just like everything else.
I hope these simple tips are helpful for you in learning how to begin practicing self-love. And I always love hearing from you – join us in the BYBS FB Group and share your thoughts!
Peace and Love,